Zombie Funny Book Jokes to Take Your Brain

A zombie pun for Halloween

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What do you call a zombie DJ?

A dead beat

Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he's all right.

It you see a hungry zombie, destroy the hungry zombie.

It's a no-brainer!

What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?

Ginger-bite-us

Figuring out how to starve a zombie isn't difficult.

It's a no-brainer.

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?

He only eats Brians

Why didn't the Zombie want to go to school?

He was feeling a little rotten

Courtesy of my 6 year old

How can you tell that a zombie used to be a father?

By his dead bod

Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.

They blessed the brains down in Africa

Why did the girl date a zombie?

'Cause liked her for her brains!

Why did the girl break up with the zombie? 'Cause he was dead inside!

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

GRAAAAAAAAINS

Why was the zombie so grumpy?

He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.

Why didn't the zombie cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts!

What?! You don't know what a zombie's least favorite food is? You'll figure it out

it's a no-brainer really.

What do you call a horny zombie?

Wankenstein.

What does a vegetarian zombie say?

Graaaains.

You know what the zombie said about the witch doctor?

Nothing, his lips were sealed.

My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?

"Grains"

How do you know if a zombie studied law?

He always eats the arms first, however, legislator.

What did the zombie farmer say he wanted?

Grrraaaaiiinnns...

zombie apocathicc

What do you call a zombie in pajamas?

The sleepwalking dead

What did the zombie gladiator say to the romans?

"ARE YOU NOT INTO BRAINS?! ARE YOU NOT. INTO. BRAINS!?"

What do zombie bodybuilders eat?

Gainnnnnzzzzzz

What does a zombie call his girlfriend?

Zombae.

And that's what my kids get after watching ZOMBIES for the 6th time in 4 days.

Why didn't the zombie like eating the clown?

Because he tasted a little funny...

What do you call a zombie phoenix?

Joaquin dead.

There was a zombie infestation in South Korea's Capital

The president, hiding in a secret bunker, ordered the city to be nuked to contain the outbreak, killing both zombies and civilians in the area.

After the strike, he went to celebrate with his wife, but she was sad.

"Honey, we just ended the zombie epidemic. Why are you sad?" he asked.

She responded: "You killed millions of civilians. How can I be happy if you no longer have a Seoul?"

My daughter is going to be a great dad..I came up stairs into the kitchen like a zombie...

she turned to me holding a bag of rice....."Graaaiiinsss"

I was drawing a zombie for my friend and wasn't sure how I would draw his eyes. First time posting here but hope this counts.

Who did the zombie take to the dance?

His ghoul-friend!!

What do you call a zombie who stir fries?

Dead Man Wokking

"Did you hear about the new zombie game that all they do is watch dough rise?"

"It's called Bread Rising."

What did the zombie say to the kindergartener after he took her brain?

I got your knows!

I told everyone that I'm going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.

I'm dead Sirius.

Whatdoes a meme addicted zombie say after eating someone?

That's some serious GOREmet shit

What do you call a zombie father?

How do you call a zombie that speaks two languages?

Zombilingual

I'm so sorry

No I'm not

Why was the zombie sad?

Because he was a husk of his former self.

What does a vegan zombie eat?

Graaainns

What does it take to become a zombie?

Dead-ication

Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.

What does a zombie vegetarian eat

GRRRAAAIINS!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Zombie?

He only eats Brians.......

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

GRRRAAAIINS!

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?

He only eats Brians

There was a zombie infestation in South Korea's Capitol

The president, hiding in a secret bunker, ordered the city to be nuked to contain the outbreak, killing both zombies and civilians in the area.

After the strike, he went to celebrate with his wife, but she was sad.

"Honey, we just ended the zombie epidemic. Why are you sad?" he asked.

She responded: "You killed millions of civilians. How can I be happy if you no longer have a Seoul?"

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Source: https://punstoppable.com/zombie-puns

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